![]() Even with separate finances, my spouse and I make daily collaborative decisions that affect one another’s balance sheet: where we choose to live, how we divide household expenses, which health insurance is a better deal, and tax considerations as a married filing jointly couple. You don’t get to approach this marriage with a “hers” and “mine” mentality. But you’ll have to start making money decisions together. Despite all these financial decisions involving you (you were her lender, and you are the one she is getting married to), you still seem to think of all of these decisions as “hers.” You view each of your two spheres of finances as non-overlapping entities. ![]() She is willing to work a second job for her dream wedding. She’s paid off her debt to you (and accepted your help to avoid compound interest). Your fiancée started making good financial decisions once you met. She had a credit card debt of about $20,000 that I paid off so she could avoid the interest. She has paid that back in the five years we have been together. She now has a part-time job, in addition to a good full-time job, to save for the impending wedding of her dreams which will cost about $65,000. We are splitting that in half, even though I would prefer a much smaller wedding. I brought up the subject of a prenuptial when we talked about marriage and she understood. Now she is not interested in doing that anymore. I’m a little fearful because I have sacrificed a lot to get what I have and I’m worried that if things don’t work out, I will lose my house. Is there anything I can do before marriage to protect my assets? She has enjoyed her early years with travel and going out. I own the house myself and purchased it before I met my fiancée. My car is paid off. I have no credit card debt and I have a decent 401(k) and an emergency account of $150,000. My fiancée has no savings and a smaller 401(k). I’ll be getting married in about a year and a half. I have tried to be a good steward of my money and I’m doing OK. I have paid off half of my mortgage. Check back each week for new columns from Athena and Elizabeth. You can continue to follow her money thoughts over on Twitter. Lillian Karabaic is headed for new ventures-this is her last column for Pay Dirt. Have a question? Send it to Athena and Elizabeth here.
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